In this as-told-to essay, actress Avantika reflects on what she’s looking forward to in her 21st year.
Growing up, I recall my parents throwing two large birthday parties for me: one when I was five and one when I was about ten. But I wasn’t a huge “I’m going to celebrate my birthday” person. I always sobbed on my birthday. I grew up with few friends, so I was like, “I don’t want to celebrate this and be underwhelmed by how many people are here.”
However, since moving to New York a few years ago, my closest friends have insisted on doing something special for my birthday every year. This year, Coach was so generous as to simply say, “Do whatever you want, and we’ll help.” They asked me, “What are your favourite things to do, period?” I thought about it: “Hanging out with my friends and playing games.”
So, my 21st birthday party is coming Saturday at Dandelion in the West Village. My best friends are preparing it for me, so I have no idea what the scale is or how much money is involved. The birthday theme has casino-like atmosphere. I grew up playing poker. My father is an avid poker player, as are both of my parents, and this was a common theme at many of the parties they hosted. I know a lot of my friends play poker, but we’ve never had a chance to do it together. I’m wearing Coach, which I’m really psyched about. I adore the Tabby; it’s the purse I carry when I go out. I went to their offices and was permitted to select something from their spring 2026 collection. For those who know me, I do not wear trousers. I always wear a long skirt or a dress. I’m basically anti-pants in general. But I thought it would be interesting to wear a pant, which is unusual for me, on my birthday.
I also always had tres leches on my birthday. That has been true for as long as I can remember. We have a great baker who is producing this amazing strawberry tres leches cake. The music will undoubtedly be a combination of Desi music, American mainstream, and Hip-Hop. Granted, only around six people at this party will be familiar with the Hindi songs that will be played, but I’ll have a great time. My best pals are all like, “It’s your birthday, you should own it.” I suppose I’m going to get flamed for this, but there’s a Punjabi artist named Yo Yo Honey Singh, and his songs are ridiculously over the top. I don’t want to compare it to Drake since it isn’t, but he has a similar cornball style to Drake’s songs. He has a song called “Love Dose,” which is really famous. It’s only appropriate to listen to at midnight, when no one is expected to be thinking clearly. I can’t wait for that to come on, and I hope none of my Indian friends judge me for dancing to it.
As a child, I struggled with the concept of freedom and independence, as well as the lack of space to do and be myself. I was just in a really critical environment because I grew up in Silicon Valley, and it’s not the easiest time at school to relate to people when you want to pursue a career in the arts and the only people who support you are your parents. You go to school and there isn’t much of a sense of community.
I believed that the simplest way to get by in life was to suppress any light or individuality I have.
When I worked on the film Senior Year in 2021, meeting Josh Colley and Jade Bender was a watershed moment for me since it was the first time I was outside of Silicon Valley and working with people my age where I was free to be myself. They’ve become some of my best pals. This is their first visit to New York for my birthday, as they both recently relocated here. So it’ll be like having all of my favourite friends in the same room.
All of my best friends are older than me, and they’ve all seen me grow as an individual. You change a lot between 17 and 21 since you are going through so many stages of life.
I moved to New York when I was seventeen. I was uncomfortable with change at the time, but I’m not now since I’ve realised that I haven’t met all of myself yet. Trying to plan for the future with this image of myself in my brain is fruitless because I’ve never been able to predict what doors will open. My life has become immensely more beautiful than I ever imagined. I haven’t cried on my birthday in the last two years since I’ve been content with my current situation.
19 was a fantastic year for me. I still consider it my best year, the year I was happiest. The number 20 represented a significant decrease. 20 was quite difficult for me; there were so many unexpected turns. And, by the end of the year, it had turned out well. For example, I ended up working on a TV show (called NSFW), which made me very delighted. But, after speaking with a lot of my friends, I believe 2025 was a difficult year for many people. Maybe there was something in the air; things weren’t going well for many of my friends as well.
So, going into 21, I don’t have many expectations. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but one of my goals this year is to be more accountable for the things I can manage. My objective is to move my body consciously three to four times per week; to volunteer or assist someone in my community a few times per week; and to do something that directly progresses me toward my goal a few times per week.
Being a woman of colour from a marginalised group in this sector requires you to be proactive about your career and the goals you want to achieve. You can’t just sit back and expect someone to hand everything to you on a platter. This year, I’d like to take advantage of my next two projects, NSFW and Ballerina Overdrive, which are both enormous platforms with fantastic actresses and performers. This year, I’d like to focus more on producing and bringing a narrative to market that I’m passionate about. I’d also aim to expand my Indian film business profession this year. I’ve reached the age where you should be transitioning into your starring Indian actress phase.
As corny as it sounds, putting myself out there and expressing compassion and empathy for others has always benefited me. And, sure, one lesson I’ve learned over the last few years is that you can’t genuinely love others into loving you back, and crying out for someone’s affirmation or affection isn’t always helpful. That being said, I believe this has been a year where I have profited greatly by loving and caring for others, regardless of their circumstances. I believe there is a great need in the world right now for people to unconditionally love their neighbourhood and neighbours. That’s what I’m carrying into 2026.
My actual birthday was January 24th. I celebrated by planning my perfect day, and any of my pals were welcome to join for any part of it. So I woke up at 7:00 a.m. and headed to Othership for a sauna and cold plunge—a great way to start the day. Then I went to a conditioning session, then I came home and cooked some, drank some tea, and danced around to Stevie Wonder’s “A Place in the Sun,” and then I went to my closest friend’s house to eat Thai food, which is my favourite, and play games. Because it was my 21st birthday, I went out at night to the iconic New York college-age hangouts Hair of the Dog and Little Sister. We didn’t stay out very long. I was truly very exhausted, and I thought, “Oh, maybe I’ll retire now that I’m 21.”
